It feels a bit odd to be sitting in Santiago, Chile writing about Thailand. A lifetime ago. After moving so fast (too fast?) for the last couple of months, it’s nice to be hunkered down in a cozy Airbnb with decent wifi and time to catch up.
We thought we didn’t take a ton of photos in Thailand because a) our camera was stolen and b) we did very little except relax with friends and lounge on the beach, getting fat on mango smoothies and pad thai. Turns out, we’re wrong. Our iPhones were clearly working overtime, because it’s been hard to cull our favourites.
Our first few days were spent in Bangkok, where we met up with our dear pals Brent and Stef and a bevy of their French friends (hereinafter “the Frenchies”). It was steamy hot in the city and while we planned to get some errands done (dentist, haircuts, etc), we managed little more than eating, daily massages and catching up with Brent and Stef. It was truly a joy for all five of us to see their familiar faces, but I still blame them for our cavities and dreadlocks. Oh, and Mike took a harrowing motorcycle ride through the city that he found exciting and fun.
The late and much beloved King Bhumibol was lying in state and the streets were thronged with mourners, all dressed in funereal black. It was hard to make much headway around town with so many streets closed and inaccessible. Eventually, we gave up and spent much of our time at our hotel’s pool.
We did manage to revisit Khao San Road from my backpacking days several centuries ago. Turns out, nothing has changed. Oh, except that I’m old now and couldn’t imagine, in a million years, staying in any of those roach infested flop-houses. We were so young and broke, huh Kir? Now, I’m old and broke with standards, baby.
We took a riverboat up the Chao Phraya River, ate lots of pad thai and spent a very fun evening meeting up with another Canadian travelling family for drinks. They had a 12 and 14 year old and our kids were in heaven. They’re criss-crossing the globe in the opposite direction so we spent hours swapping tales and taking notes over french fries and Singhas. Our ‘let’s-meet-for-a-drink’ morphed into an early-hours noise complaint from the hotel. If you’re reading this, Swooks, we’d love to meet up with you again in Toronto (or Vancouver) one day.
And then…without further ado, we said a temporary goodbye to Stef, Brent and the Frenchies and it was off to the islands. First stop: Koh Samui. We rented an Airbnb from a Montrealer for a few days and got caught up on schoolwork.
We then made our way to lovely Lipa Lodge and met up, again, with Stef, Brent and the Frenchioso. They’d rented a super-luxe waterfront villa about 20 minutes from our less-than-super-luxe accommodation. Our budget didn’t allow such decadence, so we ‘roughed it’ at the budget-friendly yet absolutely stunning Lipa Lodge.
We loved Lipa Lodge. Lucy had to sleep on the floor, but it was sparkling clean and totally old-school with geckos in the bathroom and linoleum floors. The location was spectacular, the sunsets incredible and there was a perfect pool to bob around in. Paradise. On top of that, the staff made us feel like family.
Lucy fell in love with the kind and gentle Thai women who worked at Lipa – Dada and Ei. She’d pad to the DVD library in the main reception each night in her pj’s to borrow a movie. A few minutes later, she’d return to our little cabin laden down with desserts. Not surprisingly, she became quite the movie-goer during our week there.
When we left Lipa Lodge, the staff all lined up in a row to stay good bye to us and Lucy presented Dada and Ei with homemade cards. After only a week, it was sad to say goodbye to them and to their little slice of heaven.
We rented two scooters so that we could crash FancyVille every day and see our friends. Scooting around a busy Thai island with 3 kids between us was somewhat outside my comfort zone, but it super fun and so, so convenient. Mike kept making up excuses to ‘zip out’ and he and Henry would be gone for an hour or two. I drove so slowly that the kids all begged to go with Mike or Brent every time. Safety first. What you (happily) can’t see in the photo below is the enormous marijuana leaf adorning Lucy’s helmet. She called it her ‘weed’ helmet, which made me cringe and laugh at the same time.
And so began our routine…Brent and Stef (and Frenchies) were kind enough to let the Dirty Newlands invade their adult-oriented villa. Every. Single. Day. And that’s how a week dissolved in the blink of an eye…. We did very little except study in the morning before scooting over for a visit to FancyVille. We’d order in from our favourite Thai hole-in-the-wall (shout out to Mum-A-Roy!), scoot, swim, and perfect the double-cheek kiss. The boys loved that. Bwahahaha.
There was a downside to all this hedonistic idleness… It gave me time to cultivate and nurture an entirely new pathological fear. And for those who know me, I already have a fairly decent-sized collection – flying, cockroaches, public pools, long fingernails. It’s a library that continues to grow thanks to a travellers’ alert from the Canadian government introducing me to the box jellyfish.
What’s a box jellyfish, you ask? Well, let me tell you. It’s only the most venomous and deadly creature known to humankind. They’re invisible, can have tentacles several feet long and cause near instantaneous cardiac arrest and death. And they are now being found in the waters off…you guessed it…Thailand. A handful of tourists and locals, mostly children, have died in recent years when stung by these nightmarish invisibles. Try as I might, I couldn’t shake the nagging worry every time we went in the water. Such a shame.
Fyi…’extremely painful’ is Thai for ‘deadly’
The only known anti-venom is common white vinegar so, what’s a mum to do? I toted around an enormous jug of vinegar everywhere we went and wiki-how’d CPR. For a month. It didn’t help that the kids kept getting stung by harmless jellies and would emerge from the water crying. My nerves were so jagged, despite knowing that the odds were monumentally in our favour. Rational thought cast aside, we’d walk down the beach, see jellies washed up and my heart would start to hammer in my chest. Why can’t I control everything? It would make life so much easier. For me, at least. Mike begs to differ.
Despite my box jelly phobia, our time with Brent and Stef was a highlight for all of us. The kids love them, we love them and none of us wanted them to leave. It’s possible that I even begged a little… After the Frenchies left, we managed a few extra days with them in Lamai, staying at a posh hotel (thanks to Brent’s booking genius). If you travel with them, you travel well. Oh, the stories we could tell…..
Having been to Thailand about 273234 times before, they knew all the tricks and best spots, food carts and bargaining tips. We spent a crazy night in Chaweng sourcing out the mysterious Mr. Pop and his specialty stores. Think dark alleys, steel doors and bizarre interactions and you’ve met Mr. Pop.
Again, the kids were less-than-thrilled to be pulled from the pool to walk down streets filled with ladyboys, strip clubs, markets selling (gasp) penis-shaped ashtrays and touts galore. But they soon got into the groove once we plied them with Nutella crepes. Once again, I wonder what, exactly, the kids will take away from this trip.
customer service at its best
We left Mr. Pop empty-handed, but Tom got into the swing of things and negotiated a pretty good deal for himself and his siblings for inflatable couches (because we have so much space in our carry-ons for couches…).
And then, much too soon, it was time to say goodbye to our Brent and Stef. But hold the phone… not before buying two cheap suitcases, packing them to bursting with assorted dirty clothes, 3 inflatable couches, and more stuff than I knew we had. They kindly agreed to schlep our stuff home (because what’s the point of business class if you can’t take your friends’ smelly luggage, right boys?). On our last night, we left Henry in charge and went out for a fancy Thai dinner in Lamai.
And then…up, up and away. Such a fun interlude in our travels – time spent with good friends, a little bit of luxury, a lightened load and a bunch of wacky memories made. It was almost enough to put my box jelly phobia to rest….until the next island.